The cheap wooden wine cabinet in my local supermarket has a
new heading. Regular readers (bless you all) may remember that it once housed their so-called ‘Fine
Wine’, before becoming some kind of dumping ground. Now, it bears a simple imperative: ‘Discover’.
Discover – what does that mean, exactly? I’m old enough to
feel that there’s an abuse of the verb going on, old enough to have grown up
with images of proper explorers, in pith helmets, leading a train of
luggage-bearing servants through a jungle somewhere. And here is a supermarket,
trying to make you feel similarly daring and exploratory, with little more challenge than trying
a grape like vermentino.
This notion of ‘discovery’ is peculiar to wine. I don’t see
many retailers offering an invitation to discover the world of trousers. Actually, I’ll confess that I’m pretty complacent when it comes to trousers, and
perhaps I should be looking to see if
there are varieties with unequal leg lengths, or magnetic flies. (“Warning:
Unsuitable for customers with certain piercings”)
But I really don’t feel any need to head out and 'discover' uncharted
territories of trousers. Or, indeed, wine. Which must disappoint the marketing
whiz who clearly thought it would sound an exciting proposition Whereas in fact, a
suggestion to ‘discover’ is one of those foreboding phrases, like “I
thought we could try something unusual…”, which can make your heart sink
whether it’s in connection with wine, seafood or sexual intercourse.
So what is this, a carefully curated selection of unusual
grapes and challenging flavours? Or perhaps a journey around the world’s wines,
featuring lesser-known regions? (Which, I tend to find, generally have a very
good reason for remaining lesser-known…)
Let us tip-toe with trepidation, out of our comfort zone, across
its top shelf, to discover the unfamiliar wines of, er… France. Of that rarely
encountered region, Bordeaux. There’s an example of the possibly less well known Chinon,
but then back to a Bordeaux, cleverly labelled as claret in case that makes it
seem like a different wine.
Then there are three Kosher wines, whose presence might be
explained less by an initiative to discover Middle Eastern wine, and more by a
desire to shift leftovers from last month’s Passover.
Below that you can discover their own-label champagne, which
is cheap, and their own-label cava, which is cheaper. Oh, and a sauvignon
blanc. From Bordeaux.
Go on, you say, discover! Try something different! What have
you got to lose? Well, about £13 by the looks of things, for a bottle of
Chablis (ever heard of it?), where the only discovery will be of how much more
than usual I can spend on a supermarket wine.
Tucked away near the bottom are some genuinely unusual wines,
a Sierra de Andia from Navarra, and
a Paso Robles Zinfandel blend, both in Sainsbury's own-label Taste the Difference
range. But does anyone still consider
Argentinian Malbec much of a discovery? I mean, even CJ discovered that, ages
ago. He, of course, would explore anywhere in the world that could possibly
offer drinkable wine for less than a fiver. But Lord Sainsbury’s expedition
doesn’t seem to have gone that far.
So what have we discovered? Little, beyond the low estimation
in which supermarket winedrinkers are
held. Discovery, it seems, is small, confined and unsurprising. A bit like discovering
your downstairs loo.
PK
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