So
I'm ranting and raving about the need to transition from a wine-based
monoculture to one which was shared more evenly between wines, beers
and spirits; and someone calling themselves
Anonymous writes
a comment at the end of the last rant which is so on the money, so
neatly-turned, that I'm going to quote it in full:
'What
would a 50-50 split actually mean? What are you measuring? Volume of
liquid, volume of alcohol, time spent drinking, financial outlay,
pleasure returned? A few months ago I tried moving away from wine to
a largely gin and cider based diet (different nights), but it was a
statistical nightmare. Whatever the merits of other booze might be,
absent of any Exchange Rate Mechanism back into wine, they don't seem
worth the admin.'
There
you have it. Long-term satisfactory booze modification turns out to
be a much more enduringly complex problem than it at first appears -
almost impossible if you include pleasure
returned
as an essential criterion. Years ago, when Sediment
was young and full of certainties, I came up with a cockamamie notion
called The Great Wine Graph,
plotting price against sensation delivered as a way of generating
some kind of standardised cost/pleasure dataset against which to
judge just about any drink I stuck in my mouth. After a couple of
weeks, of course, I forgot about the scheme
and that was that.
But
it would be one way to tackle the ongoing question, How
much am I enjoying this?
- which in turn boils down to Why
am I even doing this?,
which in turn boils down to Why
bother living?,
but anyway. Boiled
all the way down, I end up working not with a graph but with gut feeling, figuratively and literally - a yearning for the
sort of things an old man might yearn for: predictability and value
for money. In other words, last night I drank whisky and soda, the
whisky being the legendary High Commissioner, a massively uninvolving
mainstream blend that you find in corner shops and left-behind
supermarket chains all over the country. I forget how we came by it.
It was okay. It had been professionally made. It tasted like whisky.
On
the other hand, a couple of days earlier I had brush with that awful
Chateau Pey La Tour stuff - which I feel certain I've bleated about before but can't remember when - which I keep buying because I
fall for the name (sounds like something good, but what? What?) and the
smoothie packaging and the crap prize at the bottom
of the front face,
Concours
des Grands Vins de France a Macon, Medaille d'Argent, see pic, I mean, what a heap of dross it turned out to be, very nearly (but
not quite) undrinkable, and I paid something for it, way more than I
should have, how credulous could anyone be? I could have been
complacently drinking a bland, completely non-contentious mass-market
whisky for a fraction of the price.
And
then the whole mess is compounded by a bottle of rosé
I knocked off last week, preposterous name - LeBijou de Sophie Valrose
- apparently a Cabrières, tasted fantastic. I
love drinking wine,
I solemnly reminded myself as I slurped through it. I think it cost
about the same as the Pey la Tour but it was as high on the
value/deliciousness scale as the Pey was in negative figures. You see
where this is heading? Beers and spirits are going to be predictable
and as satisfying as I want them to be, with occasional
outbreaks of sublimity in the gin section and, I'm hoping, in the
whiskies. Wines, conversely, you never know what's going
to happen. I want reassurance, at a price, not endless leaps into the
unknown,
except when that's exactly the thing I do crave.
Which
brings me back to Anonymous
and his intervention:
I think
my division of wine/non-wine is going to be on a crudely pragmatic
day-to-day basis (yesterday I had beer; today,
therefore, wine) with, as the central unit of critical judgement
pleasure
returned,
which neatly incorporates price, predictability and taste, whatever
that
is.
It's somewhere on the cusp between art and science,
but
leavened with that
key ingredient: futility.
CJ
Can I steal "It's somewhere on the cusp between art and science, but leavened with that key ingredient: futility." to describe my career?
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