So
the wife and I are driving through the townlet of Wilton, just
outside Salisbury, and we need to get some food. It is an incredibly
hot day and we have not been on speaking terms for the last hour,
largely on account of the terrible heat. The only good thing is that
there is parking outside the Co-Op in North Street. In silence we
make our way into the shop's air-conditioned recesses.
I
spend some time motionless by the ready-made sandwiches. My wife
pointedly inspects the fresh fruit. She gestures with a packet of
tomatoes towards the basket which I am holding. I make a play of
indifference. She equally indifferently lobs the tomatoes in the
basket before peering at the cooked meats and coleslaws, things in
which she normally has little interest but which on these occasions
can be pressed into service as indices of mute disgruntlement.
Wordlessly,
I select a twin pack of Scotch Eggs and let her know through the
medium of mime that I have a twin pack of Scotch Eggs. I sense her
disdain. She piously fondles a reticule of small oranges. I motion
towards the full-fat yoghurts with Westcounty Fudge flavourings.
Impasse.
The
Co-Op's instore radio is big on the Eighties and I start to feel
sentimental, mostly about myself, as I stand next to the biscuits
section. Eventually I say,
'We
need milk.'
'Yes,'
she says.
'And
water.'
The
basket is now almost full, so, increasingly martyred, I carry the two
large bottles of fizzy water pressed against my chest with my left
arm, like a pair of scuba tanks.
I
need a treat. I start to look around for the wine. There is some.
It's not a big shop, so the booze has to earn its keep. Which is
good, because it also boils the agony of choice down to no more than
three wines, an ideal number in which price is the alpha and
omega of the decision-making process, with a small space in the
middle in which to be swayed by the perceived quality of the label
design, shape of the bottle, nature of the closure, grape variety.
And
what do you know? They're doing an offer (that
magical £5+)
on a Les
Jamelles
Syrah 2011, about which I know nothing
other than that it has a slender bottle, a screw cap and a very
clever label with nicely-finessed curly lettering and artisanal
undertones. I somehow find a free hand and sweep the bottle into our
pile. My wife's silence on the matter is eloquent as we stand
sullenly at the check-out.
But
I have the last laugh, figuratively at any rate, four hours later as
I sample the Les
Jamelles
and find it to be a Syrah without vindictiveness, a playful Syrah
with enough pepper and tannins to make a go of it, but otherwise
highly approachable. My inarticulacy is touched with gold from that
point on.
Why
am I going on like this? Only because we're off to Corsica in a week
or so, and I can see this tableau being replayed over and over, like
something out of Alain Robbe-Grillet, in the heat and inconvenience
and ruinous expense of that island, with us standing in a succesion
of dust-filled Corsican minimarts, failing to communicate. Will there
be anything as obliging to drink as the Les
Jamelles
Syrah? Will there be air-conditioning? Will there be Scotch Eggs? If
we don't learn from today's psychodrama, how are we going to get
through two whole weeks of the same?
I
meditate on this as the Syrah begins its priestly ministrations. My
wife finally pipes up and says,
'So
what was that
all about?'
'Ah,
well,' I say, admiring the glass and, mollified by the Syrah, not
wishing to seem churlish, 'it's really not a bad red. Not bad at
all.'
'That?'
she says. 'Don't talk to me about that.'
CJ
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