CJ is away this week; but don't forget that to-morrow night on BBC4 is Wine Night - a celebration of all things winetastic - starting with:
7.00 pm: Last of the Summer Wine Special
A one-off return to the much-loved, long-running comedy series - with the main parts being taken by much-loved, long-running wine writers. In this special episode, 'Foggy' Dewhurst finds his taster's notes overrun by ferrets; while Compo attempts to open a case of 1986 Château Beychevelle using a combine harvester.
Norman Clegg - Hugh Johnson
'Foggy' Dewhurst - Andrew Jefford
Compo - Oz Clarke
Nora Batty - Jancis Robinson
7.30: Michael Portillo's Great Wine Journeys of the World
This week, the former Member for Enfield Southgate travels at the TV licence-payer's expense from the Central Valley Region of Chile to the Barossa Valley of Southern Australia, via the Majestic Wine store, Uttoxeter, and the Co-Op in Honiton.
8.30: Phylloxera! The Musical That Wouldn't Die
Documentary about what became known as 'Shaftesbury Avenue's Killer Infestation': the 1990s musical Phylloxera!, based on the great scourge of nineteenth-century European vineyards. The musical proved to be almost as pernicious as the original aphid-like insect, taking seventeen years to eradicate from the West End Stage. Michael Ball - who appeared in the original production - talks to performers, writers and musicians who found themselves unable not to participate in a song-filled spectacular described by The Times as 'Simply excruciating'. Also appearing: Bonnie Langford, Sir David Hare, Esther and Abi Ofarim, Ritchie Blackmore, Professor Sir Roger Penrose, Joan Armatrading.
9.30: Telly Beverage Madness! Your Thirty Greatest Wine Shows!
Count down your favourite wine, or wine-themed, TV shows from the last fifty years - and vote for your number one, the all-time greatest wine show! Among the candidates:
Late Night Wine-Up - classic wine discussion format from the 1960s
The Rockford Oenophiles - starring James Garner as the eponymous Sonoma Valley-based crime-fighting detective
Thunderbirds Are Go! - classic 1960s marionette action series, fortified by the preferred drink of bums and hobos across the generations
Top of the Papes - remember how, every Thursday night, we used to tune in to now-disgraced BBC TV presenters uncorking the latest from a famous French wine-making region?
Whose Wine Is It Anyway? - popular TV improv series (on both sides of the Atlantic) in which comedians dispute the ownership of a glass of wine
The Riojaford Files - spin-off from the American original, starring Javier Bardem as the bodega-based crime-fighting detective
Presented by Phillip Schofield.
11.00: Wine Movie Classic - My Grapes Are Unpalatable (1959)
Legendary winecentric drama starring Anthony Quinn, Sophia Loren, Gert Frobe. Quinn plays Nikos, a Greek wine-maker who sees real export potential in his particular blend of Retsina. Aided by gorgeous love interest Susanna and buffoonish UK wine importer Sir Geoffrey Stirrup, he maps out a five-year business strategy to make Retsina the most popular wine on the British dining-table. But arch-rival Gunther has other ideas...
Little-known movie facts: Quinn was a secret teetoller in real life; and see if you can spot a very young Robert Parker, playing the part of Kostas, the peasant boy.
Nikos Kyriakou - Anthony Quinn
Susanna - Sophia Loren
Gunther Mannheim - Gert Frobe
SIr Geoffrey Stirrup - Thorley Walters
Police Chief - Thanassis Vengos
Army Officer - Ernest Borgnine
Interrogator - Telly Savalas
Chief Torturer - Martin Balsam
Director: John Ford
1.00 am: Wine News and Weather
Tonight from Puligny-Montrachet.